St. Augustine Parish
Separated and Divorced
Contact: John Matera
Phone: 978 852-7827
Many people are surprised that such a ministry exists in our parish. After all, doesn't Catholicism teach that marriage is permanent? The Separated and Divorced Ministry is not here to judge, but to support people who are going through one of life's most traumatic experiences. We do not advocate for or against divorce.
Our ministry helps members get their lives on track, no matter how difficult their problems. No one is prepared to deal alone with dishonesty, infidelity, child abuse, substance abuse, physical or verbal spousal abuse, change in sexual orientation, or abandonment. Yet these are examples of realities we must face.
This support group is open to men and women of all ages, and to those outside the parish of any faith. We are a diverse group-married and divorced; from short- and long-term marriages; with and without children. What we all share is the desire to do the very best for our families and ourselves.
Meetings are held every Monday night from 7:30 PM to 9:30 PM in the Friary. The group usually numbers between 10 and 20. Discussions are informal and guided by a moderator. Each member has an opportunity to talk, ask questions, or just listen. Periodically, guest speakers address the group on topics of common interest. Past speakers have included lawyers, therapists, financial advisors, priests, mediators, and other professionals.
Complete confidentiality is assured.
Quotations from St. Augustine
These words, written by St. Augustine around 400 AD, still apply quite well as a guide to the mission of the Separated and Divorce Support group today.
For when we are harassed by poverty, saddened by bereavement, ill, or in pain, let good friends visit us. Let them be persons who not only can rejoice with those who rejoice but can weep with those who weep. Let them be persons who know how to give useful advice and how to win us to express our own feelings in conversation.
--Letter 130,2
When we are weighed down by poverty and grief makes us sad; when bodily pain makes us restless and exile despondent; or when any other grievance afflicts us, if there be good people at hand who understand the art of rejoicing with the joyful and weeping with the sorrowful, who know how to speak a cheerful word and uplift us, then bitterness is mitigated, worries are alleviated and our troubles are overcome.
--Letter 130,2
Particularly when I am worn out by the upsets of the world, I cast myself without reservation on the love of those who are especially close to me. I know that I can safely entrust my thoughts and considerations to those who are aflame with Christian love and have become faithful friends to me. For I am entrusting them not to another human, but to God in whom they dwell and by whom they are who they are.
--Letter 73,3
Moreover, this is the rule of love: the good that we desire for ourselves we desire for our neighbor also; and the evil that we are unwilling to undergo we wish to prevent from happening to our neighbor. All who love God will have such a desire toward everybody.
--True Religion 87
For there is nothing we can do for God. But because we have something we can do for our neighbor, we shall by our good offices to the needy gain favor of him who is the source of all abundance. Let us then do what we can for others; let us freely bestow upon the needy out of our abundance.
--Sermon 41,9